one of the longest, most stressful, most painful days of my life was nearly 2 weeks ago...
January 27, 2010
5:00 am - i am woken by sharp abdominal pains comprable to a school of fish swimming in circles in my abdomen, biting me. i assume it's a bladder infection or uti and attempt to use the restroom with none of the same symptoms of a bladder infection or uti. i head back to bed to toss and turn, trying to make myself comfortable and wait out the pain.
6:00 am - i am in tears. the severe pain has not let up and no amount of adjusting in bed is doing anything for me. i call my mommy (the first person i always call in sickness and injury). she advises me to contact the advice nurse. the advice nurse schedules me an 8:30 am appointment with my doctor in leiu of waiting uncomfortably in Emergency all morning. i contact my boss and inform her to the changes in my schedule. i call my mommy back to let her know, call my daddy to let him know, call my sister to ask for a ride to the hospital and attempt to call my boyfriend.
8:15 am - my baby sister picks me up on her way to school and drops me off at the hospital. the pain in my stomach is so severe, slight bumps in the road cause me to wince.
8:30 am - i arrive and sign in to where i believe i'm supposed to be. i wait for nearly 20 minutes when the woman behind the counter informs me that my doctor just called looking for me and instructs me where to go.
9:00 am - i am poked and prodded by my doctor who's first thought is that it's appendicitis. he sends me to the lab to give a urine sample and have my blood drawn. when i return to the medical office, he allows me to lie in the procedure room (a rarely used room with a hospital bed for me to rest on). i am instructed not to consume anything, in case of surgery. the lights are turned out and i'm left alone, in pain, in a seemingly forgotten corner of the hospital. i call BS and cry.
10:00am - my doctor pokes his head into the procedure room to inform me that i do not have a bladder infection, urinary tract infection, nor am i pregnant. he also tells me that the blood work indicated an elevated white blood cell count, my body was trying to fight off some kind of infetion, and that my kidneys came back clean. he still thinks it's my appendix, but says he needs to wait on the liver and pancreas blood tests to come back clean before he makes a determination.
10:30 am - my doctor enters the room to inform me that both the liver and pancreas tests came back negative for infection. he's almost 100% positive it's appendicitis and has contacted the surgeon with my information and test results to see what she'd like to do next. he lets me know that i'm looking at going into surgery today. i make my calls: boyfriend, mom, dad, roommates, boss and keep them updated on the situation. i'm more and more terrified of surgery and do my best not to think about it.
11:00 am - the surgeon requests that i have an ultrasound done to get a better look at my appendix. my doctor has already contacted radiology and says he'll inform me when they're ready to see me.
11:30 am - a medical assistant arrives with a wheel chair and escorts me to radiology where i am further poked and prodded, this time with jelly on my tummy. the radiologist excuses herself and returns minutes later with another radiolgist who introduces himself as the head of radiology. more of the poking while she points to something on a screen that i cannot see. she starts a sentence: "see? i'm not an OB but..." and they excuse themselves to talk outside of the room. i am then wheeled back to what i've begun to refer to as my dungeon of dispair.
12:00 pm - my doctor informs me that the surgeon was unable to properly view the appendix from the ultrasound photos. he tells me, however, that the radiologist DID find a cyst on my right ovary approximately 4 inches in length. the surgeon and head radiologist both agree that i need a CT Scan. my doctor lets me know that while they'll be able to get a better look at the appendix, they'll also be able to check if the cyst is cancerous. (mind you: i'm ALL by myself, still suffering severe abdominal pain and now terrified that i may have ovarian cancer) i have yet to consume ANYthing, not even water, and am told that i can't eat yet because of the xray. i make my calls again, leaving out the part about the possibility of cancer. i figure it wouldn't do any of them any good to have to worry about it, and i don't think i could make myself say the words if i wanted to.
12:05 pm - a nurse enters the dungeon of dispair with 2 bottles of white liquid. (when i say bottle, i want you to imagine a slightly thinner version of the container that tennis balls come in) she explains that the liquid will coat my stomach and my intestinal track to highlight them for the scan. before she gives me the liquid, she preps me with an IV. i think she's going to hook me up to some fluids, since i'm weak with hunger, but she only preps me with a tiny tube poking out of my arm and some tape. i am to now drink one entire bottle of the liquid as fast as i can. the bottle is labeled "Banana" and, at first sip, is similar to a banana smoothie. the white liquid is thick with a glue-like texture and a quarter of the way down the first bottle, i feel sick. i finish the bottle and fall asleep.
1:00 pm - the nurse returns and opens the second bottle of "Banana" and instructs me to drink half of it. i wrinkle my nose at the thought of having to drink any more of the banana glue, but do as i'm instructed and fall back asleep.
2:05 pm - the nurse returns with the medical assistant who wheeled me to radiology earlier today. the nurse explains that radiology is ready to perform the scan now, and the the medical assistant will take me there. i am told i have to finish the second half of the second bottle of banana glue. i take a deep breath and chug as the medical assistant walks me down to radiology.
2:30 pm - i am taken into the room with the CT Scan machine. i am instructed to lie down on a paper covered bed and put both my arms above my head. this motion is extremely painful. the machine moves me back and forth through a hoop. little images at the top of the hoop indicate when i need to take a deep breath and hold it, and when i can breath. after two times in and out of the hoop, someone in a white coat appears by my right side and starts attaching something to my prepped IV tube. he warns me that within minutes, i will feel very warm. as i'm trying to figure out what he could mean, i feel it. my chest fills with a sensation of heat and it travels down my torso into my pelvic area. i start to blush as it feels like i've pee'd my pants. the man in the white coat explains that the liquid he put into my IV will fill my blood vessels and highlight them for xray purposes. i can't think about anything except that i've wet myself and i'm terribly embarassed. a few more times of the deep breaths, in and out of the hoop and the man in the white coat unhooks me from the warm liquid. in minutes, my body temperature is back to normal and i realize that i didn't pee my pants. i'm pleased for a brief moment, until i'm required to get up, then the pain hits me again. i'm wheeled back to the dungeon of dispair.
3:00 pm - my doctor comes into the dungeon and asks how i'm feeling. i tell him i'm weak and tired and still in pain. he tells me that the CT Scan came back with a haze around my appendix, indicating appendicitis. he also reassures me that the cyst on my ovary appears benign, but that during surgery they'll take a closer look at it. he explains that the surgeon will be up shortly to meet me and speak with me about the procedure. i thank my doctor for his extensive help and begin another round of calls/texts/emails.
3:30 pm - a woman enters the dungeon and introduces herself as my surgeon. she asks how i made it to this point, just as everyone before her had asked what had happened, and i tell her. she nods, asks questions occasionally and tells me that since we know what it is, she'll do less poking and prodding than those before her. she tells me what an appendix actually is and what it means to have appendicitis. she reviews basic surgery procedure with me and then we go over a paper that explains the details. i sign, verifying that she reviewed everything with me and she begins to tell me what the next steps are when my grandmother, baby sister and father all show up. i get a moment alone with them, then my surgeon returns with a wheelchair. she explains that she's going to prep me for surgery in order to get pain medication into me (FINALLY!) but that she won't be able to operate for an hour or two as there is a more severe appendectomy ahead of me. i am escorted by my entourage to the surgery clinic.
my phone is no longer in my possession at this point and i lose track of time. upon entering the clinic, my father and i speak with a man about insurance and payment and we get all the paperwork signed and filled out. i am wheeled over to the surgery waiting room and my mommy shows up. shortly after, i am wheeled into a bathroom where i'm asked to change into the hospital gown, special socks and a pretty blue bonnet (which was neither pretty nor a bonnet). i'm then taken into a room that looks like it's out of a history book. bed after bed after bed are lined up, one right next to the other, and i'm instantly reminded of a scene from the movie Catch Me If You Can with Leonardo DiCaprio. that scene was meant to take place in the 60's. i find myself wondering why medicine has not made any advancements since then.
i hoist myself into a bed and my mother and father take a seat to my right. a comical male nurse is sitting to my left, typing into a computer and asking me the same questions i've been answering all day. i am finally hooked up to an IV and given pain medication to help with the abdominal pain. my time spent in the 1960's hospital scene is hazy, the pain meds made me pretty loopy and then knocked me out. i remember being in the 1960's scene long enough to need more pain medication and to go through a shift change, therefore getting a new nurse. she was not as comical as the male nurse before her, and actually she wasn't comical at all. i recall her bright yellow shirt and not liking her much. i become loopy and fall asleep again, only to be woken up to two NEW nurses at my left. i like them less than the un-funny bright yellow shirt nurse, they're down right mean. they are in the middle of prepping me for surgery when all of a sudden they tell me that someone with head trauma has just entered and i'm going to have to wait. my parents don't seem pleased.
i don't know when, exactly, i went into the operating room nor do i remember the ride there. i just remember being in the room, pretty much exactly how i pictured an operating room, very sterile, bright and shiny, everyone in masks and robes. i climb onto a cold table and am asked to put both my arms out to my sides. i'm looking around at the intruments above me, listening to the pre opp doctor/nurse conversation and i start to feel the fear consume me. i've never had any type of surgery before and i don't know what to expect. i've heard one too many surgical horror stories and am terrified of complications. i can feel my breathing become heavy, the anesthesiologist puts a clear gas mask over my nose and mouth and i panic inside. i breathe heavier and begin to cry. the anesthesiologist asks if this if my first surgery and i can only nod my head. she begins to tell me that it will be alright, that everything will be o...and i'm out.
i've seen alot of movies and heard many-a-story about "countbackwards from 10" and people not making it past 8 before they black out. even still, i am amazed at how instantly the anesthetics kicked in.
i was told the surgery lasted about an hour. i had what's called a laproscopic appendectomy. they inserted a camera just below my belly button. they used it first to look at the ovarian cyst, which they deemed benign and not a problem enough to remove it. another incision was made just above my pelvic area, and another on the left side of my stomach. those were their points of opperation. they entered my abdomen from those two points, inflated me with air for a little room, used the camera to cut the appendix away from the intestine and pulled it out of the incision made in my left side. my parents said they were shown pictures of my appendix. i saw nothing, which was probably better.
the next thing i remember is coming out of the anesthesia, groggy and hazy, looking for my mom. i only see the un-funny bright yellow shirt nurse and begin to cry, asking for my mother. she tells me that i have to stop crying first, which only makes me cry harder. i tell her i just want my mom, thinking to myself that the tears would stop if only i could see my mommy. i am crying so hard that i begin to hyperventilate. un-funny bright yellow shirt nurse says to me "you're gonna make yourself hyperventilate then we're REALLY not going to let her in." to which i respond with an audible sob. i take a deep breath between tears and start chanting to myself "i'm okay. it's okay. i'm okay. it's okay." i ask the un-funny bright yellow shirt nurse if i can ask her a weird question. she says "what?" as if i'm annoying the crap out of her and i reluctantly ask her if i can hold her hand. the unfriendly, limp way in which she offered her hand only made me cry more so after snatching my hand away from hers i begin chanting to myself again. finally the tears subside and they let my mom in.
recovery is a process. i spent a week at my mother's house, needing round the clock care the first couple of days. i couldn't get up off the couch on my own, i couldn't reach for things, my feeble attempt at walking was laughable. infact, my mother and sister and i had a few good laughs that ended in my tears, as the jerking motion of my stomach in laughter was more painful than i can describe. AS and DS, my boyfriend's parents, bought him a train ticket to send him up to me for the weekend. it was good for his peace of mind, being that he was so scared for my well being, and it was nice to have my lovebug here to take care of me.
i am extremely mobile now, though still needing to walk slow. for a while i could only sleep on my back, and that was pure torture. now, i can lie on my right side and (with enough pillow support) on my stomach as well. my left side still gives me problems when i walk too fast, or if i bend over. but i'm so happy that the pain is gone, so happy that the surgery is over.
special thanks go to: my mother for taking off of work and providing a perfect recovery station, my father for also taking off of work to be with me at the hospital, my sister for helping me so much, BS for taking care of me and making sure i had everything i needed, SR for keeping me company and bringing me lunch and to my grandmother for bringing lasagna and sour worms! i'd also like to thank CR and family for my card and beautiful poster, my coworkers for the flowers and cheerleaders for the great cards, and everyone else who sent their well wishes via facebook and text. thank you for all of the support and love. i'm such a lucky girl to be surrounded by so many great people. :)
