Belated Thanks and Holiday Stress

Would you believe that I'm an avid reader of blogs? Every time their blogs load and I find that no new entry has been posted, I'm disappointed. And yet, I still have trouble updating my own blog...go figure.

The holidays are in full swing, with the passing of Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner. I'm stressed out of my mind because, as BS reminded me today, I take waaayy too much on. Homemade Christmas treats, weekend classes, hand painted Christmas gifts, coaching, compiling photos and editing them for a surprise...I'm a busy girl.

Let's back track a minute, back to Thanksgiving. In my last post, I shared with you how my grandmother has recently fallen ill. It worries me how quickly her symptoms are changing. I had seen her a few days early on, and she was lively as ever. At Thanksgiving dinner, she showed up with tubes sprouting from her nose and an oxygen tank on her hip. Her doctors placed her on oxygen 24/7, which I can only assume means bad things for her health and well being. Our family get togethers are always loud and crazy with kids running everywhere and cousins sharing stories and everyone catching up. This year was no different, except that I hadn't spend turkey day with my dad's side of the family in a couple years.* It was nice for everyone to be together again. It was amazing to see my cousins' children, some of them I'd never met before, and to see aunts and uncles I hadn't seen in years. I know my grandmother loved having the whole family together, but she was driven home after a few hours, worn out from all the excitement. We also got together the following Saturday for family photos and turkey sandwiches. Too much fun!


BS and Me after the family photo shoot

*I haven't spent the holidays with my own family in 2 years. After my parents separation, holidays were particularly hard. Christmas music evokes memories of family traditions and brings tears to my eyes. I have spent that last 2 Thanksgivings and Christmases with the S family. Always welcoming, they opened their home and their family to me when I was struggling to keep from crying. Part of me feels incredibly guilty, having avoided my own family for selfish reasons...but another part reminds me that I couldn't have handled the flood of emotion that would have hit me, spending holidays with such sad memories looming overhead.
I'm incredibly thankful for my family. We are like any other American family: some of us are crazy, some of us are lazy, some of us are doing well for ourselves and some of us are struggling...each and every one of us has our own story that makes us unique but it starts and ends with each other. I love my family more than I'll ever be able to describe, even when they're driving me up a wall :)

In other news...I'm incredibly busy and it's stressing me out.

For the next 2 Saturdays and Sundays, 10 am-6 pm, I'll be attending bartending school!! I'm incredibly excited for the opportunity to work in a position that keeps me interacting with new people and allows me to have fun. Plus, bartending nights and weekends will offer me the schedule flexibility to attend cosmetology school next fall.

The following weekend is the weekend before my father's birthday, which means tamale party at my aunt's house (yummmmmmmmmm!) and hopefully a visit from BS who I won't otherwise see until Christmas. This is also the only "free" weekend I have all month, and the last weekend I have to complete Christmas presents.

The weekend after that is Christmas, in which I have 3 family parties to attend: BS and I will visit with my father's side on Christmas Eve, we'll spend Christmas day with his family and then I'll drive home for my mother's family get together the following evening.

The following weekend is New Year's Eve. I'm not positive what our plans are yet, but I'm hoping to convince BS to allow me to sleep for many hours of the day. The Thursday after New Year's is the day he and I leave for VEGAS! My guy turns 25 on January 6th and I'm treating him to an amazing trip to Vegas. Roundtrip flights, 1100 sq. ft. suite in the Venetian, tickets to the Cirque du Soleil LOVE show and as many friends as show up. We invited 12 people along with us and the list has dwindled down to between 1 and 3. It's unfortunate, but a good time will be had no matter what. :)

Shortly after all this, I'm going to lose my state job. Don't worry, it's not really a big deal. It's stressing me out, but only because I don't have a back up job lined up yet. But I'm sure I'll be able to find something, if not as a bartender, then in another parttime capacity. I just want to do anything and everything to make sure I'm enrolled in cosmetology school for Fall 2011. Keep your fingers crossed for everything to work out for me.

Happy December, readers, and happy Friday! <3

October: Highs and Lows

October is almost over...and I'm quite thankful for that. It has been a month of crazy excitement and extreme disappointment. I'll start with the good stuff...

Earlier this month, I moved. I'm currently living with DD and her family and I'm really happy. I'm saving money and I'm living with my best friend. It's great!

I also purchased and signed up for bartending school, as I am still on the hunt for a night/weekend job*. I'll take and complete the courses the first 2 weekends in December and the program offers job placement assistance, so I'm really hoping something will come of that! (fingers crossed for me)

*For those of you who don't know: I am on the hunt to quit my full time, well paying job with benefits in favor of a parttime, nights and weekends only job...that will hopefully still pay my bills! I see an opportunity to attend cosmetology school next fall and I plan to fully take advantage of it. Wish me luck!!

On to the bad stuff...

Earlier this month, I moved. I know, I know...I've listed it under both bad and good, but that's because it was incredibly bittersweet. I lived with the R family for 2 full years and really became part of the family. I love CR and her boys so much more than I could've imagined and it was hard to say goodbye and clear out my room. I miss those crazy boys on a daily basis...

I've also sent several applications and resumes out to no avail. I interviewed with a company in a group interview setting and felt really good about my performance only to not receive a job option. I invest alot of emotion into job interviews and when I'm looked over for a position I know I can work hard in, I am really let down. I know that I'm over qualified for many positions, and the fact that I am currently holding a full time position really weighs heavily in the negative for me...maybe I should start expressing my future goals more clearly on my application? Suggestions and recommendations are greatly appreciated...

And now for the heartbreak of the century...

We found out this month that my grandmother, the sweetest person on this planet, is riddled with cancer yet again. Her battle with breast cancer began in 2002 when shortly after a bypass surgery, a lump was found. She suffered through chemotherapy and the like and as doctor's warned that it would return, she prayed for more time. In 2008, the cancer returned a little bigger, a little badder, a little meaner...the medical professionals gave her a few years. We have enjoyed our Nanny (a nickname given to her by her eldest grandchild, my cousin 10 or so years my senior) for many more years than she imagined. This third attack is the most brutal. The breast cancer metastasized, or "changed", and came back agressively in her lungs and liver. Tumors as wide as 10 centimeters litter her poor liver and tumors in her lungs make breathing a chore. After the results of her biopsy, her doctor has determined that she has 6 months...and that's on the hopeful side. This woman has the biggest heart and sweetest soul. She loves everything and everyone, even when she's been wronged. Members of her church speak of her fondly and her family loves her unconditionally. She's always had the best intentions for her family and friends and the love that has surrounded her life has been immeasurable. She is going to be incredibly missed. In the coming months, we are all trying to get in as much time as we can with her. And while I mourn the coming loss, I encourage all of my readers to check themselves early and often.

I will be forming a team to walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure breast cancer run/walk. Hopefully we will still have our Nanny with us, to walk alongside us as we donate our time, energy and fundraise in her name.

Me and My Nanny <3

I'd like to leave you all with a quote that means alot to me...

"How long would you spend being mad at someone if you knew they wouldn't be here tomorrow?"

Happy Thursday, readers <3

A Little Bit of a Breakdown.

Two and a half months ago, BS and I went to Southern California (SoCal) to visit family of mine who'd never met him. During that trip, we visited my father's paternal grandmother, my great grandmother, who is suffering from dementia. I hadn't seen her in years and while I knew she was sick, there was nothing that could prepare me for that.

The woman I remembered was vibrant and full of life. She went out dancing well into her 80's and would not stand for someone telling her what to do. She fed you every time you walked through her door, even if you had just come from a meal, and she made you feel at home. I remember the gentle hugs she'd give me and the way her hair was always perfectly done. The woman I remembered was strong willed and quite stubborn, extremely stereotypical of a Mexican matriarch...which she was.

As we drove to the facility where she currently lives, my grandfather warned me "She might not remember you. I'll have to get really close and remind her that you're RC's daughter. I just want you to be prepared, some days are better than others." I nodded and thought to myself "I can handle this. It's your great grandmother, you love her. Being able to visit her is a fantastic opportunity. Having BS with me will help keep me strong. I can do this." But in NO way was I ready...

Her room was directly across from the automatic doors in the entry way. My grandpa lead the way, followed by my grandma, then me, then BS. As we walked into the room, and I saw my great grandmother lying in the hospital bed, I felt a surge of emotion. "She doesn't look ill," I though to myself as my grandfather leaned in to wake her. But ill she is.

We spent an hour with her, after she woke from her nap, feeding her lunch and attempting to understand the random gibberish she was speaking. This woman, who used to force feed me beans and rice with homemade tortillas, couldn't even feed herself. She was frail and weak, unable to brush her own hair. She seemed dazed and confused, blankly staring at me as if we'd never met before. She was seeing things that weren't there; picking up small, non-existant pieces of garbage from her lunch tray and holding them in her hand. My heart broke. She didn't remember me; she barely remembered her own son. This was a shell of the woman I spent my childhood admiring. I walked away from that hospital sobbing, gasping for air.

I remember every single detail of that day. I remember how vacant and far away she seemed, as well as the little things that reminded me that my great grandma was still in there [Like when she was having difficulty trying to pick up a piece of cornbread with a spoon and I told her "Grandma, you can't eat cornbread with a spoon." She glared at me as she got that cornbread on the spoon and never took her eyes away from me as she took a bite, as if to say "Don't tell me I can't."] But there are 2 things I will absolutely never forget for the rest of my life: 1. Out of all of the nonesense she spoke all day - incomplete sentences, inappropriate answers to questions, etc. - she managed to get one, full and complete thought out. It had nothing to do with anything, but I will cherish it forever. She said, "Think twice before buying a new pair of shoes." 2. As we were getting ready to leave, my grandpa encouraged me to get close and hug her. As I stepped up to her wheel chair, she began fixing my dress, attempting to tuck it in to itself. I bent down and gave her a hug and as I stood back up, she grabbed my hand. She held it for a moment before kissing it ever so gently and then patting it.

Needless to say, I completely lost it and had to nearly be carried out of the hospital. I was so thankful to have BS there to hold me while I cried, and it meant even more to me that he was able to meet her, even just once.

Recently, I went through my storage unit to make room/organize things. I came across an envelope that I was about to throw away. I didn't recognize the handwriting, and tossed it into a box to be looked at later. As I was going through that box at home last week, I opened the letter to find it was from my Great Grandma, written in response to an out-of-the-blue letter I'd sent her back in 2004. In it, she wrote how much she missed my family and me and how she hoped we would come visit her that summer. I realized, as I started to bawl my eyes out, that I hadn't revisited the situation since I'd seen her over two months ago. I cried for hours, non-stop. I cried while changing and folding laundry, I cried while showering, I cried while watching tv and I cried up until the instant I fell asleep that night. The next day, I was emotionally sensitive and touchy, but it felt good to cry for her. It felt good to remember her strength and it reminded me how precious life is.

If there's anything I can get across to my readers today, it's that life is short. My little breakdown last week reminded me that I need to make time for the people who matter most because I don't want to be left wishing for more time. Time flies by whether you're having fun or not, so you'd better make the most of it. <3

These are a few of my FAVORITE things...

For anyone who knows me, you know that my favorite season of all time is Fall. There isn't a single thing I don't love about the fall...I love the weather: still warm, but breezy with golden sunsets. I love the holidays: Labor Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving. I love the colors: deep reds, burnt oranges, rich browns, shimmering golds. I love the scenery: trees changing colors, leaves falling gently in the wind. I love EVERYTHING about the autumn...

One of the signs that autumn is near is Gold Rush Days. I LOVE Gold Rush Days. I wouldn't call myself a history-buff, but I enjoy learning about history. I specifically LOVE California history, being a caLi girl, and in Old Town Sacramento (OldSac) they annually have the Gold Rush Days Festival. [Side note: for those of you who don't know, Old Sacramento used to be a booming town during the days of the Gold Rush. It has many times flooded and properties were rebuilt on top of old storefronts. Some stores in OldSac have renovated the previous stores, some as deep as 3 levels. It's paved in cobblestone roads with rickety wooden sidewalks. There is plenty of shopping, eating and site seeing including the Train Museum, my favorite.] Every Labor Day weekend, the cobblestone roads are covered in tons of dirt to mimic the days of the Gold Rush. Skits are performed in the streets, simulating old gun-slinging fights. Actors are dressed in time-period costumes and folksy musicians take to the stages and streets to bring back the days when California was new.

I can't get enough of Gold Rush Days. I think this is the first time I've ever said this, but: I'm so excited that BS doesn't live in my city because I get to show him all sorts of stuff. This weekend, we'll definitely be heading to OldSac to enjoy the sites!

Something that, oddly enough, I'm crazy about is Halloween decorations. I go crazy over decorating for Halloween. I have 3 metal haunted houses that hold tealite candles, I have all sorts of door decals and covers with bloody hand prints and creepy things...I have a CD that is full of tracks of creepy sounds or screaming people. I just love decorating and celebrating Halloween. It reminds me of DD...who also loves Halloween and it's decor. I think she beats me in the "having a bunch of Halloween themed stuff" category. I saw these little guys in a Michael's and thought of her...

...and in honor of my Autumn-Themed blog entry, it seemed appropriate to post :)

Happy Tuesday, readers!! <3, me

A 4-Month Recap

I haven't posted a blog entry in 4 months, nearly to the day! It's kind of embarassing, when I think about it. I'm supposed to be keeping this log of my life, this personal diary, and I don't even update it! *smh* I'm going to do as brief of a recap of the past 4 months as I can...if you're laughing right now, it's because you know I can't tell "brief" stories.

The rest of April was pretty tame. CR and I held cheerleading tryouts. We had another large turnout, over 100 prospective cheerleaders passed through those gym doors, hoping for a chance to be a part of our program. We ended up with 32 cheerleaders, 16 on JV and 16 on Varsity. Large cuts like that never bode well for us. Frustrations tend to become overexaggerated and then accusations fly. It's not easy to take illogical criticism year after year. We do our best to be as transparent as possible when it comes to our selection process, and we still catch alot of flack. Hopefully it gets better; I'm not sure how much worse we could handle it!

May was a good month. Mother's day celebrations, graduation for the high school's very first Senior class...most importantly, I surprised one of my closest friends (JF) with a trip to CO. She had no idea I was coming, it was fantastic! BS and I flew into Denver on a Friday and back home on a Monday; we got plenty of quality time in with my precious nephew. The trip was much needed on both mine and JF's parts and BS had fun exlporing CO with me. I love it there!

June was a rough month. My checking account was used and wiped clean, which made for a very difficult week. Luckily, upon investigation, my bank determined that the charges to my account were infact fraud and I was reimbursed 100%. I had more graduation parties to attend, spend Father's day with my dad and went to the Britney Spears concert with BG, a great friend of mine. I hadn't seen Britney Spears live since I was in the 8th grade...while her dancing was slow and sluggish, as if she were marking every move, and her singing was pre recorded, it was absolutely an amazing show. Her dancers were phenomenal and the design that went into her stage sets was astounding.

July was a much better month...I spent the first full week of July on vacation with BS. He had previously purchased NKOTBSB tickets and I spent that concert experience with AL, a beautiful free spirit I met through BS's band endeavors. At the end of my vacation week, BS and I drove down to SoCal to visit family of mine he hadn't met yet. We saw my grandpa, grandma, aunts, great aunts, cousins...but most importantly, I got to see my great grandmother. I had always remembered her as a spitfire, a stereotypical Mexican matriarch, not to be messed with. She is now suffering from dementia and is staying in a home. Her stares are vacant, sentences jumbled and senseless...she's a shell of the woman we all know and love. It was a difficult thing for me, but so good to see her and hug her and have her kiss the top of my hand. BS enjoyed his time as well, my family all loved him! Also in July, BS and I attended the state fair, CR and I took her kids to see Big Time Rush at the Stanislaus County Fair and we attended cheer camp at Pepperdine in Mailbu, CA.

The State Fair was fun, BS and I looked through every exhibit and enjoyed one another's company. We left early, before getting to see the Neon Trees concert or ride the ferris wheel (my 2 requirements for the fair this year) and that was disappointing...but we did have alot of fun! The Stanislaus County Fair was HOT and packed. Apparently, there are LOTS of BTR fans. CR and I spent the concert doing heavy lifting, putting KR and TR up on our shoulders so they could see the show. The boys had a good time, CR and LM and I walked away with inside jokes!

Cheer camp was an adventure. We (32 cheerleaders and 3 coaches) took a charter bus overnight to Malibu and spent 3 days at Pepperdine University. First things first: the bus rides there and back, the meals before during and after camp, the time spent with our girls on a social level...that was all AMAZING! We laughed and joked and had plenty of fun on the beach. But camp, oh lordy, camp...we had some serious breaking down during camp nistruction and it was disappointing to say the least that this year's cheer camp wasn't nearly as momentous as years past. It's normally the cheerleaders' favorite time of the year, and I believe this year it may be the worst. Thankfully, everyone has moved beyond the atrocity that was cheer camp and we have built on and forward from it. I'm proud of my girls every day for sticking with their commitments and not bailing, when I could tell some of them wanted to. I'm hopeful that camp was not a glimpse into the year to come.

Best cheer coaching staff around!

Now we are in August...So far so good. A camping trip with BS, my pops, his gf (SA), her daughter (NM) and NM's boyfriend J was tons of fun! We took the jet ski to Little Valley Reservoir and spent a day on the lake in between campfires and delicious meals. The drive up there was interesting, as BS and I had to drive up separately. It got dark and the directions didn't quite follow the mountain roads we ran into. It was a fun adventure to add to our growing list!

This past weekend was also a good one. It was AS' birthday and we had a party to celebrate! I came to town early in the week and baked some tasty desserts while her husband, daughter and best friend took care of the meal. We had a wonderful BBQ and dined outside on the patio by candle light, then enjoyed a bonfire. The company was pleasant, the food delicious and the night perfect! Another good weekend with my guy, his fam and our friends. I'm anxious for more!

I have plans in the works for a new job endeavor...I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, so I'm going to remain mums the word on this. But I know that what lies ahead of me will be fulfilling and rewarding, so I can't wait to get started! Exciting things on the horizon, will keep my readers posted :)

Have a happy Tuesday, everyone! <3 me

Wedding, Spring Break, Tire Blowout...

I always start these posts by reading my last entry. Sort of seeing where I left off and what I need to update on...

My birthday came and went. It really felt like I didn't have a birthday this year...sad, huh? Next year, I hope to have something big!

The roadtrip down to SoCal for the wedding was fun...the boys and I had a blast and brought home SEVERAL inside jokes. The wedding itself was beautiful; it's always amazing to see two people in love commit to spending a lifetime caring for one another! The ride home...now that was an adventure. If you weren't following the news, there was a HUGE freak storm over I-5 and over night, 13" of snow covered the grapevine (the only way to get to NorCal from SoCal using I-5). We ended up having to stay another night in L.A., the boys missed their classes/work. We didn't find another hotel to stay in until we had checked with approximately 10-15 others and driven another 30 or so miles west. We started the next morning out well rested and near the 101...we got home that evening, never more happy to be OUT of my car!

BS had his spring break from classes a couple weeks ago. We had an absolute blast. We watched sports, went to a bar in the bay area, saw some stand up comedy, hung out with friends, and just generally had a great time together! I love when we can have a good time just being with one another. This last weekend, we had so much fun just lounging and napping and we even went shooting with his uncle (which, by the way, made my shoulder ache for 3 days...gotta love shot guns! haha) This weekend is our anniversary. We'll have been together for 3 years on Saturday. It's amazing to think of a time when he wasn't in my life...he's my best friend and I can't imagine not being able to share our ups and downs with one another. :)

I can't wait for the weekend to come, especially after this crazy week. Monday morning, heading home from the Bay, I had a blowout. Well, technically it wasn't a blowout because my tire didn't actually blow...it just kind of shredded and fell off. Don't believe me? Here's the photo:

The rubber LITERALLY fell off.

I felt that the right side of my car was traveling over the lane reflectors much harder than my left side. Then my car started, sort of, fishtailing...it was very difficult to steer. I got the the next off ramp and looked in my side view to see what looked like my entire tire rolling away. Luckily, I was only 10 minutes from my boyfriends house and he came to my rescue. He came and put the donut spare tire on for me and sent me on my way. It took me almost 3 hours to get to work, driving under 55 MPH from the Bay to Sacramento. *so frustrating* But I made it and $124.09 later, I have another new tire...

That is the extent of my excitement...I still don't know if I'm losing or keeping my state job and moving out is a big question mark. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Happy Wednesday, readers :)

I'll take my birthday with a side of stress please...

7 days! That's it...only 7 more days until my 24th year of life ends. No, I'm not turning 25...let me explain: When you throw a baby's 1st birthday party, it's because they have been alive for 1 year. A 2nd birthday party celebrates the completion of 2 years, having been alive for 2 full years. Therefore, a 24th birthday is the celebration of the completion of my 24th year on this planet. I'm having serious anxiety about getting older.

My mom raised me to never care about age, that age was just a number...but what little kid doesn't want to get older? It was so cool to turn "double digits", awesome was the year you were officially a "teen", 16, 18...I made 19 the best year of my life because it was the last year I could say I was a teenager...then it was a race to 21, 22 aka "double deuces"...23 was nothing special in particular. But as I creep closer and closer to the quarter century mark (25), I'm beginning to feel that fear typically associated with getting older.

I know so many people with college degrees, starting careers that they love; I know other people married, having children, starting families they've always wanted; all of this makes me feel...behind. I'm in a job I can't really stand, I don't have my college degree, I'm not getting married any time soon and I'm definitely not having kids yet...and I know that there is no timeline for these things, everyone's personal and professional advancements are their OWN choices, for THEM, what works for THEIR life. But I can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm eerily close to 25 years old, much closer to 30 than 18, and I feel like I'm no furhter along than I was when I graduated high school.

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy to be turning 24, soon after 25. I have no qualms with BEING older. However, I fear that I'm not where I "should" be at this point in my life. I will soon be one quarter of one century old...shouldn't I be, like, doing something with my life by now? IDK...updates on aging as they come.

...well that was alot more depressing than I thought it was going to be...hahaha

Stress has been bountiful...I'm struggling with moving out and possibly losing my state job. Lots of back story to the whole situation, but needless to say, I've been a major stress case as of late.

This weekend, my mom and I are going to the St Patrick's Day Parade and Festival in Old Sacramento. So excited, as I've never been to the Sacramento festivities. Since I'll be out of town for her birthday (which is 9 days from now), we are doing our annual combo birthday celebration Saturday night. I love celebrating our birthdays together. :)

Road trip next week...7+ hours south of the bay area...heaven help me. Trapped in a car with 2 boys for 7+ hours?! hahaha JK...I'm driving down to SoCal with BS and AW, two of my favorite guys in the world! I'm so excited for their friend's wedding...weddings in general excite me. :)

Happy Thursday, readers. Hope you have a great weekend ahead of you!! <3 me

Amazing Weekend

I had an absolutely fabulous weekend...BS surprised me and came up to my city for the extended weekend. We had a blasty blast!

Friday night, we stayed in and watched movies. Saturday, we took TR to the park. He was hysterical and we all had so much fun. After lunch, we got ready and went over to my dad's for a night of dinner, drinks and games. (third time now, always fun) In the morning, we all had breakfast and then BS and I went home and got ready for a date day. We played two rounds of mini golf, which he won by a landslide. At home, I cooked him a chicken and rice bowl (probably his most often eaten meal EVER) and we watched all sorts of movies and stand up comics and all sorts of things into the wee hours of the morning...he left for work the next day and I had a movie date with CR. It was an positively beautiful weekend for me!!

BS and I haven't had much in the way of phone time lately. We talk in the mornings on our way to work and school, we text until he begins class, he sends hi's and bye's in between classes...in the evenings we're both busy: me with practices and games and him with homework. we eat, we prep for the next day and we're ready to pass out. and so it goes, day in and day out. We were texting today and I sent him something that I'd never truly thought of before...

We never got to "date". We've been long distance our entire relationship and have never really had that "dating" period, we had to have our courtship over the phone. I cherished every moment of being on that mini golf course with him. I even enjoyed eating our $5 footlong Subway sandwiches IN subway, instead of taking them home. I crave some sense of "normalcy" in our relationship. I'm dying for the chance to text him 5 minutes before quittin' time "hey babe, wanna go to Chevy's for happy hour?" or head home and figure out who's house we're meeting up at to cook a dinner for two. I hate that our chances to see one another involve serious financial and schedule coordination and planning...and after nearly 3 years of this, I think I have a right to throw my tantrum! lol

He's my best friend and I enjoy spending time with him. He's busy. I'm busy. And by the end of the day, we're both exhausted. Some day in the future, I will read back on this post and laugh with fond rememberance how difficult this time was. I'll think back about how strong it made our bond, and how if we could get through THAT [this], then we could get through anything! ...I cannot wait for that day to come.

For now, I count down the days until I get to see him again...

9 days, 2 hours and 16 minutes :)

I CAN'T WAIT...



...to see him <3

T-Minus 10 hours and 16 minutes...15 minutes...14 minutes...  -__-  This is taking forever.

ILY BS :)

Schedule

I feel like I don't post often because when I think of posting, I don't have anything PROFOUND to say. I need to remember that this blog is for me and my family; it's an accurate record of the happenings and it's a way for friends and family to know what I've been up to. Keep It Simple Sweetie (Stupid isn't nice...lol). KISS...here ya go. Simple...and the topic that's been dominating my thoughts.

I have SO much on my schedule...this year is looking eventful, and fun!

February: end of regular cheer season, final competition, valentine's day
March: my birthday, mom's birthday, BS's friend's wedding in SoCal, BS's spring break week
April: our 3 year anniversary, cheer tryouts
May: JF's birthday, meeting my nephew for the first time in Colorado Springs!, uniform fittings
June: father's day, summer cheer conditioning starts
July: visiting my grandfather and family with BS...it'll be his first time meeting that side of my fam!, cheer camp, NKOTBSB concert!!
August: cheer practices
September: football season begins which means practices and Friday night football games, GF's first birthday
October: visiting JF and GF for a week!, cheer practices, fb games
November: end of fb season, cheer winter practices begin, thanksgiving
December: cheer winter session, christmas, new year...

I feel like this year is going to fly by...don't blink, you might miss it!

I have so much to plan for and save for. I love having traveling plans! Have a happy Wednesday, readers!!

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

Yeesh. What a year...and we've only seen 18 full days of it! Remembering that this is a brand new year with brand new opportunities, filled with brand new responsibilities is somewhat comforting and at the same time frightening.

I've thought alot recently on mistakes I've made in the past. I've thought about what went wrong and what I could do today to a) avoid those mistakes and b) fix them should they occur. Then I had to start thinking about my future. In the next 2 years, my whole world is going to change drastically. People moving, jobs changing, saying goodbye, making friends...I'm excited and nervous. Updates as they come! Stay tuned :)

I'll be 24 this year. That's difficult to swallow seeing as I was voted "Biggest Little Kid" in high school and still frequently act like a 5-year-old. Next year I'll have been alive for a full quarter century. If that doesn't make a girl feel old, I don't know what will...but that's beside the point.

The head cheerleading coach and I developed a competition team who competed for the first time over the weekend. They took first in their division and received a bid to nationals. They were the only ones in their division BUT the judges weren't required to place them, nor did they need to give them a bid to nationals. Most of the team had never competed before EVER, and CR and I were so proud of them for their performance. It wasn't perfect, but they kept their energy up and busted it out. Good job ladies!

BS and I have many plans coming up...many expensive plans. That means our short weekend visits are going to have to be cut down. *sigh* Back to seeing each other every other week or longer. One good thing about that is we end up missing each other so much and we really get to appreciate and enjoy the time we do end up spending together...I can't wait for the day where we're closer to one another.

Happy Wednesday, readers! Have a great week, it's halfway over!

Resolutions and a weekend of Birthday Fun

Happy New Year, readers!! My new years celebrations were limited. Visited a couple New Year's parties but ended up back at home by 11:30 to ring in the new year with my love. We watched movies and played card games and slept till noon! Wasn't the celebratory new year that either of us were used to, but it was nice none the less.

This past weekend was a blur of insanity...BS turned 24 last Thursday. Thursday night we sat 3rd row from the ice at the Sharks game. The view from those seats were amazing. The atmosphere was electric! BS has said to several people that even though they lost, it was the most fun he's ever had. We really did have a blast. After the game, we went up to Neverland (our friends' home) in Sunnyvale and partied in honor of mister S. Then Friday night, we went to BJs with another group of people for drinks and appetizers, then back to BL's apartment for beer pong and rock band with his neighbors. THEN BS's official birthday party kicked off Saturday night back at Neverland. It was agreeably the most fun the group of us had had in a very long time.

Needless to say, Sunday was a day of lazy relaxing. And after a weekend of partying, I'm happy to be home working and coaching and going to bed at NIGHT (and not early morning!). Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my best friend, the greatest guy I know. I hope, BS that you had as much fun as I did. I hope that this birthday will be one for the books! :)

Now that the holidays are over, the new year has begun and most people struggle to adhere to New Year's Resolutions. I made a few resolutions for the new year. My top resolution was to eat healthier. Fresh fruits and veggies, cooking at home, eating smaller portions, etc etc. It's hard to maintain that resolution...and thus far I have done significantly worse than I thought I would do. I mean, I knew I'd screw up a couple times over, but with the party weekend it was hard not to eat like a struggling college kid (ramen, taqueria burrittos, jack in the box...we've all been there).

Resolution #2: get my resume done and get a new job, a steady one with security and stability that pays me enough to pay my bills and will get me closer to my guy. That's a work in progress.

My other resolutions fall under those categories...(lose weight, get my own place, etc...) Hopefully this will be a productive year. *fingers crossed*

If anyone is reading this and doesn't already, follow me on twitter: @melissacalderon or find me on facebook: www.facebook.com/imhisbird :) Happy Tuesday, readers!!